Episode 18: Am I too strong for my husband?

EPISODE SUMMARY

Women are expected to be quiet and meek…but what happens when we aren’t? What does that look like in our marriages, especially if our husband has a quieter personality than you? Join us as we discuss marriage and battle those feelings that we are “too strong” when we are anything but quiet and meek!

THE CONVERSATION

Kara-Kae and Elizabeth talked about how they have struggled with the feeling like they are “too strong” for their husbands. Kara-Kae doesn’t have this struggle as much because of their personality types. Elizabeth does struggle with this in her marriage.

Then they discuss what roles the church plays in marriage and if women feel supported when they have strong personality types.

They discussed the enneagram a lot (surprise surprise!). They both felt like women aren’t always supported by the church.

Culture has a tendency to play a role in this idea of strong women, in some cultures, it is accepted and others it is not.

“Listen here Tula, the man is the head, but the woman is the neck. She can turn the head any way she wants” - My Big Fat Greek Wedding

@samantha_curry said that she has trouble letting her husband lead and submitting to her husband. “We can be fierce for our men in marriages,” she says.

Some women feel the burden to be a spiritual leader because their husband doesn’t step up, so what does that look like for submission? They discuss this tough topic.

“I’m guessing all women need to listen more and talk less” - Elizabeth

@quirkyquinn “I want him to be the leader, but often have to take control when he can’t”. She went on to talk about her husband being in the army and it is a tough balance to not overpower her husband because he is gone a lot.

@nataliefrancishealth “Sometimes I have to remind myself to BACK OFF”. It’s a struggle to stand down when things don’t go our way.

Kara-Kae says she gets this as a type A, enneagram 1!

Tips to have a more connected marriage when you feel too strong:

  • Have open conversations! Different personalities are great, but learn to live with each other and find what works for you!

  • Embrace Grace!

  • Realize you are on the same team with your spouse. Don’t focus on who is getting their way, but what is best for your marriage and family.

RESOURCES TO REFRAME OUR THINKING

Elizabeth recommends the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas…and also recommends what NOT to read :)
Kara-Kae recommends The Road Back to You, which is all about the enneagram. The Path Between us is about relationships based on the Enneagram.

Kara-Kae JamesComment