Sometimes I fear that I don’t take the time enough to brag on my hubby and tell him how proud I am of him.  I always hope he knows, but I never want to take for granted that he does.  Being a pastor’s wife isn’t always an easy job, as I’m sure my fellow PW friends can agree.

It’s a difficult balance of “work and life”, when your life revolves around your ministry and serving others. My hubby is amazing at this.  Sure, sometimes he brings his work home.  But he does a good job of knowing when it’s time to unplug and focus on me. He’s practicing well for being an amazing daddy by taking his days off to spend with his family.  I’m so thankful for this.  Although him being pulled in a million directions can get hard from time to time, it’s a blessing to get to be a part of what he does. It’s not just his ministry, it’s OURS. I love that he makes me a huge part of it and always values my opinion so highly.

I’ve been a bit of a wreck for the past 8 months.  It’s not been easy on me to be pregnant, and that could have put a lot of pressure on our marriage because it’s hard for me to focus on it a lot of the time.  He has stood by me every step of the way. He tells me I’m beautiful when I feel the size of a house.  He encourages me. He tells me it will be over soon (that’s the best thing I can hear these days…). He never questions his feelings for me.

As women, it’s not always easy to be vulnerable with our spouses.  Especially when we want them to see us as beautiful and as perfect as possible.  But we’re in this thing…for better and for worse.  I’ve had my fair share of “worse” days lately, and he’s not left my side for a second.  And he won’t leave my side during our better days either.

One of the best days is to come, when we see our baby girl for the first time.  I can’t imagine a better man to share this with and to be the father of my children.  Thank you baby for all you for our ministry and our family.  You are truly my hero.

Wow…only 5 weeks until my due date.  I really can’t believe we’ve made it this far! I’ve been feeling a lot of contractions over the last week, some of which have really freaked me out. Some of which are probably just gas.  Who knows. Part of me hopes this means my little angel will come a couple weeks early, but I’m really praying she stays in there until she’s fully cooked and ready to come out. I’ve been telling her everyday that her birthday is March 5th, so maybe a month from today she’ll listen and decide it’s time

I really think the camera does put on 10 pounds, because I don’t think I look this big in person. Oh well. Here you go anyway, because I promised to do this until the end. As frightening as it may be.

35 Weeks

I’m a good sleeper.  Ok… a GREAT sleeper.  I have slept through my neighbor’s house catching on fire and firetrucks. I’ve slept through MANY thunderstorms (in Oklahoma of course, California doesn’t know what those things are). My dog can jump all over me and nothing. I’m out. My hubby enjoys this because a lot of the time I will chat with him and never realize it happened.

I had worried a bit that I wouldn’t hear my babies cry in the middle of the night, and would be a bad mother because I’m such a hard sleeper. Everyone tells me my sleeping habits will quickly change once I’m a mommy, and I do hope this is the case.

However, this child is already preparing me.  As I lay here awake at 3am because it’s “playtime”, I can’t help but cherish these moments.  Yes, I will be tired all day and a little annoyed that I didn’t get my 8 hours straight. But, these last few weeks I get to rest. Yes, I’m very uncomfortable, finding it hard to sleep and our little kickboxer is the most active baby of all time.  Yes, I hate being pregnant and can’t wait to be done.  BUT…this is the last few weeks of me. Just me. I have no little ones crying, having bad dreams or needing mommy in the middle of the night yet.  I just lay here and feel her roll and kick. What a blessing that is.

Keep kicking baby girl.  Mommy will sleep when you’re all grown up.

Moms are supposed to be able to cook right? Ok…well my mom didn’t cook. But my dad did. I never thought less of my mom for it though, and maybe it’s because my dad is such a great cook. Unfortunately, I take after my mom quite a bit in the cooking department.  There are a few things I can make really well: biscuits and gravy, hamburgers, homemade waffles, mac & cheese and my hubby’s all time favorite – chocolate chip cookies. That’s not a very impressive resume in the kitchen.

As I become a mom, I want to take the time to learn and cook more.  I know it will be several years before the little munchkin is eating what I’m cooking, so that gives me some time to practice.  For now I want to focus on some dishes that will be simple while having a newborn to care for and still delish for hubby and I to eat after a long day.

I’m looking for some great recipes in the following areas. Please leave a comment with your recipes or feel free to e-mail them over to me at karakae@karakaejames.com.

Easy Crock Pot Meals

Freezable Casseroles

Quick On-The-Go Dinners

Fun Favorites for the Kids

After I go on maternity leave next week and have a few weeks before baby comes, I’m going to try my hand at some new things and freeze some stuff that will be easy for us to eat in the first few weeks of Baby Girl blessing us with her presence.

Maybe I will become a cute little 1950’s housewife afterall.  Doubtful, but there’s always a chance.

Thanks for your help!! Can’t wait to try out some new things!

I’ve talked many times about how I’m not a huge fan of pregnancy. I often wonder what pregnancy and childbirth was to be like before the fall of man.  Was it going to be perfect and painless? Would people have had way more children because there was no pain? Would the world be extremely over populated because no one died and all women just wanted to have babies because it was such a blast? 

Genesis 3:16 Then he said to the woman,
“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy,
and in pain you will give birth.

I find myself a lot of times wondering what pregnancy and childbirth was like for Mary, the mother of Jesus.  Did she get a break? Did she have 9 months of morning sickness and all the wonderful “joys” that many women face in pregnancy? She didn’t get an epidural or any drugs, but did God feel for her and lessen the pain as she gave birth to the Savior of the world?

So many questions I will ask when I get to heaven.  I imagine there will be a long line of women waiting to meet Eve.  That poor women messed it up for all of us, and frankly she’s not my favorite person right now as I am very uncomfortable and dealing with all kinds of pains in my 35th week.

Well ladies….get in line.  I’ve got a bone to pick with Eve.

I’m am stuck at home today not feeling well and there is no way I’m taking a picture of myself in the current state I’m in (nasty hair in bun, hubby’s sweatpants & t-shirt, no makeup….you get the picture).

So here is an example of how big I am:

Ok…maybe not THAT big. But sure feels that way!

Our baby girl is approx. 4.75 pounds and around 18 inches long.  She’s basically the size of a cantaloupe for those of you that understand the fruit comparisons. I still don’t get it.

As soon as I’m feeling better, I will post an actual picture! But hooray…we’re 34 weeks today. 6 Weeks to go!!

Just when I think my pregnancy will never end, here are a few things I try to keep in mind:

Elephants are pregnant for 2 years.
I’m only pregnant for 9 months.

A lot of species give birth to a dozen or so babies at one time.
There’s only one inside of me!

My baby will not have hooves.
At least until she turns 13.

So yeah. It COULD be worse.

Ok…maybe not terrified.  But honestly, they are difficult for me.  Most churches have moved away from Sunday School, and focus more on Small Groups/Life Groups/Community Groups…whatever you may call them.  I think this is awesome.  I truly believe that it is so important to have people you can pour into and vice-versa.  Hear me out…I think they are extremely important.

However, I’m terrified of them. I just simply don’t like them.

Oh….and why do all of our church graphics for small groups have to have people holding hands?? What group of people actually sits in a circle and holds hands?

Anyway…

Being a pastor & pastor’s wife, as hubby and I are, we draw a lot of “attention” from people who attend the churches we work for. Sometimes good attention and sometimes bad.  But there is something about the pastor that people are drawn to.  And they think the pastor’s wife is absolutely holy & perfect.  Oh my…if only they knew.

All that to say, it’s difficult for me to be vulnerable.  It’s hard to open up. It takes a lot of trust and many things for us to feel completely comfortable to talk about deep spiritual things going on with us, especially to people who look up to us so much.

We have some amazing friendships that we sink into so comfortably and can openly share anything. Most are either fellow pastors & wives, or are friends/family we have known for a long long time.  I’m so thankful God has placed those people in our lives. I really think we’d be lost without them.

How do you allow yourself to open up and be vulnerable to a new group of people?

If you are a pastor’s wife, what’s the best way for you to find “community” and relationships and actually be able to let your guard down?

Before getting pregnant with our little “oops” baby, I didn’t think much about all that goes into building a little life and how amazingly detailed and out of our hands it is.  I was in my little bubble of thinking I wanted to be a mom, and have lots of babies and pregnancy would be perfect and wonderful.  It never crossed my mind that some women can’t get pregnant. I never thought about all the women out there who have carried babies, and lost them.  And I had no idea how much you fall in love with a tiny little life when it can barely be seen with a microscope.  The second that pregnancy test says “pregnant” or shows a plus sign, you are forever changed.

From the beginning, I promised myself I would never let the fear overtake me, knowing that God is completely in control.  If he wanted me to have this baby, I knew I would.  He gives and He takes away. I just prayed that I would be the best mother I could be and the best influence on this little life, even if anything were to happen.

We have had no scares in this pregnancy.  We are immensely blessed.  Yesterday at our check up, the doctor said we have a “textbook baby” and she is absolutely perfect. I pray that she continues to grow for another 6 weeks, and is perfectly healthy.  And I pray that this continues to help me see how blessed we are, and do all I can to pray and love on those who have not had the easy ride we have.

My heart breaks now every time I hear of a sweet mother who has lost or miscarried a baby. If you have been on the joyous side of motherhood, or hit absolute rock bottom – know that God is in control.  He is the maker of all things, and the ultimate comforter.  For all you moms and soon to be moms, I am praying for you today and my heart is full for the blessings that God gives through the gift of children.

I’m working to start getting things ready to pack for the hospital.  Yup, I’m a planner and this must be done soon as to not stress me out!

I go on maternity leave in  a couple of weeks (at 36 weeks), and want to pretty much have everything ready to welcome baby into the world by then so this tired mommy can rest and relax for a few weeks.  That’s the goal at least. So I have starting thinking about what I’ll need to pack to take with me to the hosptial and thought I’d ask advice.

What are some “must haves” to take?

What should I get to wear post-baby? I’ve been told a robe & pjs, but what is best and will be most comfy for me?

Anything I should prepare for that they might not tell me?

I don’t want to pack up our entire house as if we’re taking a 3 week trip, but I do want to be fully prepared.  I always appreciate the help!