Episode 20: Is self-care actually good for me?

EPISODE SUMMARY

Today we are tackling the super popular topic of “self-care”. What is it? Why do we need it? How does it differ from soul care? We toss around manis, pedis, and yoga and call it “self-care... but that’s not necessarily the case. According to the definition, self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health.”

Join us as we dig deeper into this topic and how we can truly find a place of renewal for our minds and bodies!

THE CONVERSATION

Today we are discussing the trendy topic of self-care. What is it? Why do we need it? How does it differ from soul care? 

Kara-Kae’s initial reaction to self-care is that she is “over it.” There is nothing wrong with taking care of ourselves, but sometimes we replace what we really need with indulgences and that’s not self-care.

Elizabeth agreed. She also admitted that many people think self-care is slowing down and relaxing, both of which she does not enjoy.

She also said that self-care feels very entitled, self-indulgent, and self-focused. We are fortunate that we live in a culture that even allows us to pursue self-care. So many people don’t have this luxury because they are just trying to survive.

When we asked the question, “Is self care good for you?” one of our listeners and a good friend of the show, Jeannette Tapley commented, “Sometimes yes, sometimes no....it just depends!! So probably yes!”

Kara'-Kae pointed out that a lot of people understand the scope of self-care. We toss around manis, pedis, and yoga and call it “self-care, but that’s not necessarily the case.

According to this definition, self-care is “any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health.”

  1. Self care should be proactive, not reactive.

You should plan it. Schedule it. Let your husband/kids know what you’re planning to do and why.

@gatheringoaksretreat commented, “I schedule a massage every three weeks bc I believe we have to keep our body’s aligned without our fascia becoming too tight PLUS it’s super relaxing!! I also prioritize working out first thing in the morning for stress, health and sleep!”

2. Self-care should become a regular rhythm of your life.

3. Self-care is “the key to living a balanced life.”

If we are constantly fluctuating between “hustle” and self-care, we won’t live a balanced life. The pendulum will always be swinging. We need to find the middle ground where we’re not constantly stressed and then stressed about trying to de-stress through self-care.

4. Self-care is not always about adding something into your life (massage, book club, gardening). Sometimes it’s about eliminating (distractions, commitments, people).

5. Self-care is whatever you want it to be, as long as it leads to greater emotional, physical, mental, spiritual health.

@simplyjulialauren commented: Just started a bullet journal this year and it’s seriously helped! I’m not perfect at using it, but it’s a game-changer for sure!

Here is an example of a bullet journal:

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/a25940356/what-is-a-bullet-journal/

There are some things we can do in general that would incorporate self-care into our lives in a healthy, rhythmic way:

  • Get enough sleep

  • Eat a balanced diet

  • Exercise

  • Take good care of your health (doctors and dentist appts)

  • Maintain healthy relationships

  • Eliminate excess (stuff, commitments, etc.)


Experts tell us that if we want to engage in self-care, we should:

  • Get a mani/pedi

  • Get a Massage

  • Read a book

  • Go to a yoga class

  • Spend time with friends

  • Spend time alone

Some women love the idea of self-care and have really incorporated it into their daily lives. For others, it’s difficult to practice self-care because: 

  1. We feel guilty

    • It takes time away from our families

    • It might take money

    • It feels entitled

    • It feels selfish to “indulge”

@katygirlgoods commented, “I was just telling someone this today! Of course I enjoy it when I make time for it, but I do feel a little guilty.”


2. Time

3. Expectations

4. We don’t even know what self-care really is.

SOUL CARE vs. SELF CARE
Elizabeth’s main problem with self-care is that we often engage in self-care (yoga, massage, dinner with a friend), but these things don’t fill our souls in the long term. They are a short term fix. And I think that’s why people have trouble pursuing and sustaining self-care . . . it doesn’t satisfy in the long run. 

Soul care is about feeding our souls. It goes back to the list you mentioned about creating a healthy, rhythm of self care:

  • Resting; taking a Sabbath

  • Get enough sleep

  • Eat a balanced diet

  • Exercise

  • Take good care of your health (doctors and dentist appts)

  • Maintain healthy relationships

  • Eliminate excess (stuff, commitments, etc.)

Kara-Kae things these terms are interchangeable and listener Jennifer Eikenhorst agrees, “Self-care is a struggle, sticking to a schedule that puts me above whatever else is happening. I focus on soul care/self-care but they can be interchangeable”

We want to challenge all our listeners to do one thing this week that nourishes your soul. Maybe that’s getting off social media for a couple of days. Maybe that’s going on a walk after dinner.

Then, DM us and tell us about your experience. We want to hear from you!

RESOURCES TO REFRAME OUR THINKING

Elizabeth recommends the audiobook, Bossypants by Tina Fey.


Kara-Kae recommends the Netflix series, Dead to Me.

Kara-Kae JamesComment