Episode 5: Why does mentoring matter?

EPISODE SUMMARY

Kara-Kae and Elizabeth discuss the importance of mentoring and discipleship both inside and outside the Church. They break down Titus 2 and discuss what Scripture says about older generations of women mentoring the younger generation. They answer questions such as, “What role should the Church play in mentoring?” and “How do you mentor someone who is not interested in growing spiritually?” Join us as we challenge each other to engage in mentoring for the sake of our generation, and the one following us.

THE LITTLE THINGS

We like to start each episode by talking about “the little things” in life that made a big impact that week. 

Kara-Kae scheduled a day of rest on a Saturday. She read a book for hours, played with her kids, and unplugged. It impacted her week because she was fully rested, and she encourages everyone to set aside a Sabbath day, even if it doesn’t fall on Sunday.

Elizabeth talked about the challenges of parenting, and gave a huge shout out to all the single moms who do this parenting gig day in and day out by themselves. Elizabeth encouraged listeners to pray for single moms and Kara-Kae encouraged us to do something tangible for a single mom (buy them a gift card, take them a meal, etc.)  

THE CONVERSATION

Elizabeth and Kara-Kae both agreed they have never had a formal mentor in their lives, but have felt mentored by spending time with women who were in a season ahead of them. 

Kara-Kae currently mentors a few girls who are ten years younger than her and confessed that she needs to be even more intentional with these girls.

The book of Titus breaks down the expectations of older women in the Church leading younger women. Paul saw the danger of false teaching invading their homes and lives, and he says older women should train younger women to protect against this false teaching. 

Titus 2:7-8 lists some attributes mentors should exhibit:

  • Integrity

  • Dignity

  • Sound speech

Other attributes of a Godly mentor include:

  • Godly character

  • Mature faith

  • Intimate relationship with God

  • Servant leader

  • Desire to share God’s love with others

  • Continuous learner (which we talked about in Episode 1)

  • Someone who is reliable and available

Kara-Kae and Elizabeth discussed what role the Church should play in mentoring. 

  • Elizabeth thinks some churches play a role in mentoring, but we still have a ways to go. Churches need to be more intentional about helping women find mentors and mentees. 

  • Kara-Kae recently met with a few women in her church to discuss this topic and their church could help women pursue mentoring in an organic way and not make it feel like a forced thing. 

  • Elizabeth shares that a church she used to attend had a mentoring matching program that felt intentional, yet natural. 

  • Kara-Kae says we need to provide spaces for women to connect so that we are not always with our peers. 

  • Elizabeth attended a women’s leadership conference years ago and someone told about her own experience trying to connect generations of women with each other: “The older women said, ‘We want to host an event and everyone can come and connect.’ The younger women said, ‘We want to connect, and then we’ll come to an event.’” The woman’s story illustrated how different generations have different views on connecting. 

  • Kara-Kae commented that women in our generation often feel like we everyone else comes first (husbands, children, etc.), so we find it difficult to do something for ourselves. And single moms have to find childcare for women’s events. Both of these things present challenges when trying to help women connect. Elizabeth says we need to be bold and brave enough to reach out to our church and ask for help so we can find a mentor and be mentored. 

How do you mentor someone who is not interested in growing?

  • Kara-Kae says we need to leave out the formal language (“mentoring”). We also don’t need to meet on a regimented schedule; rather, we should just be available for people. 


What should mentoring look like?

  • Figure out where the mentee is spiritually, and figure out what you’re comfortable with spiritually. 

  • Make it simple, fun. 

  • Bring in other people so it’s not always one-on-one.

  • Walk alongside your mentee. 

  • Mentoring doesn’t have to look like us following a list of rules.

  • Ask your mentee to share her story. 

  • Ask your mentee what she wants from her time with you (study Scripture, Bible study, prayer, talk about life, book study)

It’s important for kids to have another adult pour into them. 

  • Elizabeth said her two kids are in KLife groups, which are groups with college students leading younger students (6th-12th grade).

  • Her oldest son is also in youth group and watches the guy and girl leader pouring into the kids. 

  • Kara-Kae said that discipleship and mentoring needs to trickle down to our kids so that when they grow up, they will have experienced a healthy mentoring model and can mentor others. 

  • Kara-Kae’s oldest daughter loves spending time with a neighbor; she recently said, “She’s my best grown up friend.”

  • KK has reached out to some high school girls and offered to be there for them if they ever want to talk.

RESOURCES TO REFRAME OUR THINKING

Kara-Kae JamesComment