Episode 4: What's wrong with me?
EPISODE SUMMARY
Kara-Kae James and Elizabeth Oates discussed the difficult, and personal, topic of depression. They started by offering some statistics about depression, and then talking about causes and symptoms. Each of them told their own stories of dealing with depression. They discussed the Church’s response to depression and the societal stigma surrounding depression. Then, they offered advice on how you can help someone who might be dealing with depression, and how you can seek help if you think you might be struggling with depression.
THE LITTLE THINGS
We like to start each episode by talking about “the little things” in life that made a big impact that week.
Kara-Kae talked about potty Kendrick (prayers appreciated). She bought him a toddler urinal and a potty watch . . . she highly recommends both.
Elizabeth talked about a sweet moment with her 5-year-old daughter. It reminded her that we often underestimate our kids; they want the truth, not insincere encouragement.
THE CONVERSATION
Elizabeth and Kara-Kae started their conversation on depression with some stats:
1 out of 10 women experiences symptoms of depression (according to the CDC)
Women are twice as likely as men to suffer from depression (according to the Mayo Clinic)
Causes of depression:
Hormonal changes
Life circumstances
Trauma
Perfection tendencies
Mom guilt
Cultural stressors and oppression
Symptoms we see in depression:
Being anxious
Being hopeless, empty
Feeling unnecessary guilt
Being extremely irritable
Anger rage
Loss of interest in activities
Difficulty concentrating
Sleeping too much or too little
Eating too much or too little
Physical pain
Suicidal thoughts, attempts or committing suicide
Postpartum depression symptoms:
Feeling overwhelmed
Feeling disconnected room your baby
Isolating yourself
Worrying you will hurt your baby or yourself
Elizabeth and Kara-Kae both shared their stories of struggling with depression.
In generations past, there has been a stigma around the issue of depression. Kara-Kae and Elizabeth discussed how that has changed and is still changing in our culture today. They also talked about the Church’s response to depression and mental health. They both agreed that churches are doing a great job with programs like Celebrate Recovery, but we still have a long way to go to remove the shame and stigma around mental illness.
Advice we would give to someone who is struggling with depression:
Reassure them that it’s not their fault; it’s not a result of something they have done or a sin they have committed.
There are things we can do to treat depression: medication, counseling, changing life circumstances.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
How can we overcome the stigma of depression?
Listen to people’s stories.
Share your own story.
Stop labeling people.
Call someone out if they are adding to the stigma of mental illness.
Cultivate healthy conversations around depression and mental illness.
Talk to your mom, sister, or grandmother about depression. Share your story and listen to their stories.
Start a support group in your church or in your home.
How can someone help a friend who is dealing with depression?
Sit with them.
Walk alongside them.
How can someone get help if they are dealing with depression?
Take your time. Don’t feel like you need all the answers or have to “fix” anything right away.
Reach out to just one person.
Seek treatment from a doctor and/or counseling.
RESOURCES TO REFRAME OUR THINKING
Kara-Kae recommends a book she read a few months ago called, It’s All Under Control by Jennifer Dukes Lee.
Elizabeth listened to an Audible original called “My Lost Family.” It’s a riveting documentary about loss, grief, depression, and being reunited with family.