Episode 24: What happens when life changes direction?
EPISODE SUMMARY
Today is bittersweet, as Kara-Kae and Elizabeth answer the question, “What happens when life changes direction?” Are you thinking of changing careers, moving to a new city, or making a life-altering decision? Then pull up a chair and listen to these co-hosts as they talk about how their own lives are changing directions, and what you can do to figure out what directions to take in your own life.
THE CONVERSATION
Today we are answering the question “What happens when life changes direction?”
Elizabeth kicked off the show by explaining a life change that is leading her away from the Asking for a Friend podcast. This was a very bittersweet decision for her . . . exciting because she is returning to school to pursue her doctorate from Liberty University in Community Care and Counseling with a focus on Traumatology, but sad because she will no longer be podcasting with Kara-Kae.
Elizabeth talked about how, over the past couple of months, she has lost the drive to continue down the path of writing/speaking/podcasting. Her life has become 95% social media and 5% writing . . . 95% self-promotion and 5% ministry. She has felt drained emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Over Christmas break, she took a serious look at her life choices and ministry direction. She spent the next month praying for and seeking direction and decided it was time to jump off this train.
Some books she read that helped lead her to this decision include The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman and Made for This by Jennie Allen.
A few things that held Elizabeth back from making this decision sooner included the need to not disappoint people or let people down. She also has a high need to achieve, yet the harder she hustled, the more emotionally drained she felt.
Kara-Kae is also experiencing a life shift. She made an announcement on social media this week that she is letting go of Thrive Moms for similar reasons. For many years this ministry was life-giving, but for the past year, it’s been very draining. Like Elizabeth, she worried about disappointing others but had to realize that she couldn’t live for others. Check out that announcement here.
In The Next Right Thing, Emily tells the story of being a sign language interpreter. Everything pointed her to continue down this path, but she felt called to writing. Everything we do is not wasted time, but a stepping stone leading to the next thing God has for you.
It’s tough to deal with other people’s perceptions of us, but we can’t waste time worrying about what other people think about us.
Elizabeth is going to take a break from social media for now. She doesn’t currently miss it, but when/if she does, she’ll give herself grace to go back to it.
Advice she would offer people who feel like they need to make a life change include:
stop worrying about pleasing others
let go of labels
write down what you want your life to look like. Then go through worst-case scenarios; you’ll probably realize that the worst thing is that bad and probably won’t even happen.
think about things in your life that bring you joy and peace, then think about things that drain you.
Actor Shawn Hayes said (paraphrasing), “What do you want your life to look like? OK, no go make it happen.” Sometimes we are the thing that is holding us back. It’s OK to try and fail.
Elizabeth also mentioned an episode of The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey in which the guest, Kelly Stamps, talked about being content with living a small life. Our culture tells us to live a big life, but ministry also happens day-to-day, one-on-one. God has shown Elizabeth the blessing of living a small life and she’s ready to embrace it. Life matters if you make it matter.
Next week Kara-Kae will give more information on what’s next for the podcast. It’s not going anywhere, so stick with her! She will continue bringing you important discussions and answer your most pressing questions . . for a friend.
RESOURCES TO REFRAME OUR THINKING
Elizabeth recommends two celebrity memoirs, Inside Out by Demi Moore and The Girl with the Lower Back Tatoo by Amy Schumer.
Kara-Kae recommends the book, How Not to Get Shot: And Other Advice from White People by D.L. Hughley.