Marriage

this day

On this day, 4 years ago I changed my name.

I became a wife. I stood hand in hand with the man of my dreams and promised to love him forever. We had no idea what was ahead for us, but we walked into our future excited. We were together, and that was the best way to go through life. Together.

We didn't do a big fancy wedding, but it was perfect for us. We drove go-carts at our rehearsal dinner and laughed with our friends. We were surrounded by hundreds of people who love and support us.

It was the perfect celebration of our love.

Over the years we have learned how to love each other, and how to serve each other. We are learning every day how to do that better. I will serve this man and be his bride until the day that I die.

Brook, I love you with everything in me. It's a joy to be your wife. I've had the privilege of standing by your side through good times and bad, and will continue to be there through it all. Thank you for loving and cherishing me. I feel even more loved today than I did on that beautiful day. It's an honor to be your pride and joy. 

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All photos taken by Prints Charming Photography (an incredible photography team if you're in the OKC area and looking for a photographer!!)

how to not kill your husband {after having a baby}

They say the first year of marriage is hard, but "they" don't tell you much about the first year after having a baby. That's the year that will rock you. Next to marrying the love of your life, the greatest joy you will ever experience is having a child. Your heart completely explodes when that child is born and every bit of your energy and time goes into that tiny little person. So, what about your husband? Your marriage gets put on the back burner. That's just the way it is. Your husband is perfectly capable of making his own sandwich and washing his own clothes. But the baby? Not so much. They need you every second of the day. They 100% rely on you.

For the first year, you as the mama are the primary caregiver. Then Daddy becomes the primary fun giver.

Yes, you share responsibilities with your hubby to raise the child, but when they are teeny little humans...mama just knows best. We are born with parental instincts, while for the most part men kinda have to figure their way around a baby.

Here's my best shot at advice to help you survive that first year, and come out on the other side still over the moon for your man.

1. Give yourself some grace. You just had a baby. Even when 5 months has gone by, you still just had a baby. You can't compare yourself to those super moms you see on tv who walk out of the hospital in their size 2 designer jeans. That's just not normal. Remind yourself that this is a very short time in your life, go eat some ice cream and give yourself a big bear hug. Grace is the key.

2. Take your time. Ahem, in the bedroom that is. Just because you get the "all clear" from your doc at 6 weeks, doesn't mean you may be ready to jump in the sack. Seriously, take your time. It all changes after having that baby. Ease into what works for you, don't just rush it because the doctor says it's ok and you feel like you need to!

3. Talk it out. Are you struggling? Tell him. A lot of things change around your house after a baby and it's important to keep the lines of communication open and talk through things with each other. Figure out what you expect out of one another, and be open and honest!

4. Make a plan. Do you both work and plan to trade off night feedings? Do you expect him to put the baby in bed? Do you want him to help you with some housework or do the grocery shopping? Figure out way to help each other, and don't be afraid to ask him for some help! Make a plan, ask each other for help! Do it!

5. Go on a date. Or several actually. It's so easy to barely spend any time together away from baby. Your life becomes wrapped around this person, but you have to remember in 18 years they will be gone and you still need to like each other. Get all fancied up and go out to dinner. It's ok if you talk about baby all night, just talk! Enjoy each other! Hold hands and love each other. I promise a few hours alone will be a HUGE breath of fresh air after diapers, spit up and sleepless nights.

I promise I'm no expert on this subject, but I'm in the middle of doing it for the second time. I've learned a lot and failed a lot. My husband and I will come out on the other side still crazy about each other, because we will continue to work at it. I guarantee you that it's hard. Sometimes you'll just want to punch him right in the face for not understanding you...but remember he's a man and he's not going to understand you. Give him the opportunity to try and work at it every single day!

There's something about that moment on your child's first birthday, as they tear into their cake that you make eye contact with your other half and sigh a deep sigh and say "WE MADE IT!"

the ugly truth {pregnancy}

I struggle with writing posts like this because I feel like I need to be hyper-sensitive. There are so many women who are struggling with getting pregnant and have lost babies. Women I know and love. I can't say I understand but as a mother, I can sympathize. So it makes it difficult for me to talk about a hard pregnancy. Because it's a blessing. It's a honor to carry this child. I know that. But that doesn't change the difficulties I face.

I'm sick. I've said it a million times, but I'm like really really sick. Most of the time when people are around I put on a happy face and act like all is ok. But yesterday I almost reached my breaking point. It was our anniversary. I wanted nothing more than to go out and have a fun evening with the love of my life. But I had kept nothing down all day, and I had no appetite. My parents graciously came to hang with the munchkin to allow us out of the house for a bit. But at every stop I had to find a bathroom to throw up. Hubs bought me a cupcake (I looooooove cupcakes) and it tasted like ash in my mouth and I couldn't eat it. We ended up eating our anniversary dinner at McAlister's Deli because nothing else even sounded good, and it ended up being disgusting after I ate.

I stepped on the scale to find out I've lost 3 pounds. I understand that is normal for a very sick first trimester, but to me it's terrifying. I worry my baby isn't getting the nutrients it needs because I can barely find anything to put in me that will stay there.

It's hard. I know it's a blessing, but it's hard. I know there are women who have it worse than me, but that doesn't make it easier. I don't feel like getting off the couch to be a fun mom to my daughter. And it definitely doesn't make it easier that I turn into a zombie the minute she goes to bed so my hubby doesn't even get to spend time with me.

It's been 10 weeks so far that I've been dealing with this intense sickness and exhaustion. I'm praying that the second trimester will bring some relief and energy. I want to feel like a woman, wife & mom again. I want to happily eat my Oreos and gain weight and watch my belly grow. I want this to be a joyous time.

I want to stop putting on the fake happy face and the "it's worth it" smile, and really enjoy this pregnancy.

Because frankly, right now I want to curl up in my bed and not come out until September.

 

happy {sorta} anniversary!

If you've been around here for long, you know I'm obsessed with my hubs. He's really pretty fantastic. Like any couple, we have our ups and downs...but luckily for us it's mostly ups. We have a blast together, and our life together has been a whirlwind of love and joy. Today and tomorrow we celebrate 3 years together as one. We were married on February 29, 2008 so technically we don't even have an anniversary this year. I like to celebrate two days so it's more fun that way!

Our anniversary celebrations have always been interesting. Our first year, we drove to Vegas and shot a transmission in the middle of the desert. Last year I was 38 weeks pregnant and horribly uncomfortable (and most likely went to bed at 9pm). This year I'm 12 weeks pregnant and incredibly sick. Next year for our 4 year {and technically our 1st}, I plan to be laying on the beach somewhere with him and the kids home with grandparents.

It's been an amazing 3 years together. I'm thankful for the man he is. For the precious daughter he gave me, and for the tiny babe forming inside of me. He's already given me more than I deserve, and I know it's just going to keep getting better.

Happy Anniversary baby! Maybe I'll stay up until 9:30 this year ;)

her love language is paper towels.

We all have a love language. We all know this, and most couples have read The Five Love Languages together. If you haven't, I suggest you do. Actually, I suggest the man reads it to learn how to best love his wife...and the woman just needs to give him some lovin'. Because come on, I guarantee you that 99.9% of men have "physical touch" as their #1 love language. Disagree? I didn't think so. The concept of this is fantastic. To learn to love a person based on the way they best feel loved. BRILLIANT. My husband knows I like gifts. Even the gift of cleaning up the house for me these days shows me tons of love. For him is physical touch. **shocking**

Sometimes it's the little things.

Sweet Tea is totally my love language. Yesterday hubs and I went for a drive and he said, how about we stop for a tea first? Ummmm, YES. I about pounced on him right there in the car. He knows the little things that make me happy and by him offering me something that I enjoy, I feel loved.

My daughter's love language: paper towels. Seriously, I could give this kid a roll of them and she would go to town. Content for hours. It's what makes her happy. It makes her cup full. As her mommy, I know the little things that make her happy.

Yes, children have love languages too. If you have several children, I'm sure you can attest to the fact that each of them feels loved in a different way.  My daughter is a quality time person. She's only 7 months old, but she likes the security of having mommy & daddy close. Sitting in the floor and playing with her for hours makes her so happy.

Are you loving your spouse and your children in the way that fits them individually? I encourage you to find out their love language. Because your blanket of "love" covering your family isn't enough. Make it specific and intentional.

What do you think your husband & kid's love languages are? Please share them here!