Fears

mama fears

It's true. Mama's have fears. We fear for our babies, and pour our hearts and souls into them. We fear that we will fail them along the way. We fear that we will not know what to do, and will not be enough for them. We have these fears in us long before they are even born. I'm only 6 1/2 weeks pregnant with Baby 2.0. The first trimester is a scary time. A time of the unknown. A time where you wish for sickness, sore breasts and having to pee ten times during the night. You want these things as a comfort. You can't feel the baby moving, and you can't see a bump. You just want to know that everything is going ok.

It's called faith. Believing in the unseen. Knowing that God will handle things that are out of your control. And giving Him the control.

I could sit and worry and fuss day and night over this little tadpole swimming in my uterus, but what's the point? God already has plans for this little one. He knows. He will be my strength to get me through the long days ahead. {That and the tiny bit of coffee I can sneak now and then}

The next 6 weeks will drag by. And then the next 6 months will drag by. Until I'm holding my new baby in my arms, then it starts a whole new world of fears and worries a mama faces.

"I sought the Lord and He answered me. And He delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:3

Are you trusting Him, and allowing Him to deliver you from your fears?

the aisle of fears

We are a couple who would love to wait another year or so to have babies.  We like this time together! However,  we are also a couple who doesn't use birth control.  I want our children to truly be a gift from God in HIS timing, not something we plan for! Therefore, we are a couple who have little 'scares' every once and a while.   Typically I jump to the worst possible conclusion and convince myself that I'm pregnant.  Sometimes it's just indigestion! (Wow... my apologies to our children who might read this someday, you are not the worst possible conclusion!!) All that to say, we recently had one of these little 'scares'.  I went to the local pharmacy to pick up a preggo test.  As I stood there staring at the wall of tests that all look the same, this young girl walks up next to me with a terrified look on her face.  She glances at me and hides her face in shame.  My heart immediately goes out to her.  "Can I help?", I ask her.  She sighs and asks me which one is better.  Since I'm a professional at peeing on a stick, I give her my expert opinion.  We then chat about how expensive the tests are and how ridiculous that is.  (I think it's just preparing moms for how expensive children will be!)

My heart broke standing there in that aisle at the store with this young girl.  After stealing a quick glance at her naked left hand, it tore me out of my perfect little world I get so wrapped up in.  I somehow made it through those years without ever facing the fear she was facing at that moment.  I walked down a white aisle and was presented to my husband on our wedding day as a pure bride.  For that, I'm so thankful.  But this little girl, is taking a walk down the aisle that is not her idea of her future.  It's the aisle full of fears and pregnancy tests.

teen-pregnancy_501

How many girls make the mistake of thinking it won't hurt them to just give in to that cute boy?  Do they really think there will be no lingering effect? Part of me wanted to just hug that sweet girl and make it all go away for her, but she walked away still filled with fear. 

There were no thoughts of what color to paint a nursery or how excited her husband was going to be when he found out.  There were fears of if her parents were going to kick her out, and how she would be able to support a baby.

Sometimes I forget how blessed I really am.  Even if we are surprised a little early than we 'plan' for our first little one, we are still in a place we can handle anything life throws at us and there will never be a doubt or fear about it.  (And no, I'm not pregnant...must have been indigestion!!)

I'm pretty sure my husband will lock up our daughters once they realize what boys are, and if they're anything like their mother that will be about the age of 3. 

kk

Facing my fears

We are back from vacation!! We had a wonderful week with Brook's family and even got to spend a couple of days with my family on our way back home.   In case you don't read my husband's blog, let me catch you up to speed.  I am TERRIFIED of water.  Like freak out when my head even gets wet because I think I'm going to drown.  (Don't make fun...you know you have some crazy stupid fear.  I found out someone I know is scared of Dinosaurs so I think my fear is no longer the worst fear!!) Well, I happened to have married a fish.  Brook LOVES the water and would rather be at the lake than anywhere.  So where did we go on vacation? THE LAKE! Now dont get me wrong, I enjoy being in the boat so I can have fun too :)

I got to thinking how I don't want our kids to have the same crazy fear as me, so I wanted to attempt facing my biggest fear: lake water.  Lake water is different than regular water because there are living things and it's dirty so you can't see the living things.  Talk about scary!!

Brook is an incredible wakeboarder, so I wanted to attempt to learn one of his favorite things.  The first time in the water was very scary for me but Brook was so patient and stayed in the water with me and taught me everything while holding on to me while I was "drowning" (apparently it's hard to drown with a life jacket and a wakeboard on you). 

Well, to surprise us both....I HAD A BLAST! After I got comfortable in the water, I was actually decent and could get up on the wakeboard.  I was shocked! I had a few really awesome falls, and got me used to being immersed in the water.  I couldn't believe I lived to tell about it, but I did and my biggest fear now is escalators (that will be for another day :)) 

So wakeboarding was the huge highlight of the week, but we had a blast getting to hang out with the family.  We are so incredibly blessed with an amazing family.  I am so excited to know how loved and cared for our children will be.  Brook and I will have an easy time raising our kiddos!! 

I'll leave you with a few of my professional wakeboarding pics. 

You know you're jealous of that fall.  Good times...I still hurt from that :)