It was Sunday, February 28. I had spent the weekend sick in bed with strep throat and after the kids were in bed I emerged from my quarantine to watch the Oscars. Around 9:15pm, my phone buzzed and I glanced at it to be surprised with a picture of a beautiful baby boy and a note saying “surprise, he’s here!” Little man came quickly without warning, and we scrambled to pack and get ready to make the trip to meet him. I ran on adrenaline for the next 24 hours while my body was fighting sickness.
We surprised the girls with the exciting news of his arrival the next morning, loaded up in the car and started our journey to our life changing future. It took us a little longer than expected due to me being sick, but we finally made it. We went straight to the hospital to meet the birth parents and baby boy.
Walking those halls at the hospital were some of the most terrifying, heart wrenching moments of my life. What would she be like? Would she like me? Was the baby ok? Am I really cut out for this? A thousand thoughts and questions raced through my mind.
Our birth mom was kind and gracious to us. She immediately handed me an armful of baby boy, and fought through obvious emotions of her own. We sat and chatted about delivery, how the day had been and how she was feeling. It took everything in me not to cry and hug her tight. I could tell how much she loved this baby boy. She looked at me holding him, and our girls kissing all over him - longing to have him back in her arms.
We walked away after our short time together that evening, unsure of what the next 24 hours would look like. She had to wait 48 hours to sign papers, and my heart was so heavy for hers. I truly understood in that moment how difficult this is for a birth family. I questioned if we would go home with a baby that day - I just prayed she would make the best decision for him.
Tuesday she requested to spend the day with him, so we spent the day as a family of 5 - possibly our last! We went swimming, bowling and loved on our girls. I snuck away for a little time to pray and try to make sense of all the emotions I was feeling. It was more than I ever dreamed it would be. I always thought if we did a domestic adoption, I would want a closed adoption and didn’t really think much about the birth family. This past year has completely wrecked me for these women and how difficult it is for a birth parent. I was beyond heartbroken for the loss that adoption is.
At 6:30 on Tuesday, March 1 - we walked into the hospital with carseat in hand. The social worker met us with a joyful smile - she signed! The social worker told us that our birth mom was thrilled with us and knew this little man would be so loved in our family. She had made an incredibly difficult decision for him, one that I will never take lightly. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in 14 months since the start of our adoption process. I can’t stop thinking of those birth parents and the choice they made to give life to this child and place him in a home that he will be loved forever.
We have loved the past 5 days with our Kendrick. He’s a completely joy! A super calm and snuggly little man, so loved by his sisters. He has been prayed for so deeply and I have dreamed for many, many years about the day we would open our home and our hearts to a child. I am so thankful for the way God orchestrated our path to him. God is so good!