It's not an easy task to raise girls. I feel a constant pressure to do it "right" and not mess them up too bad. There's such a fine line between setting them up for success and being a complete control freak. Because I'm more naturally a control freak, I have to work really hard to not lean on what is easy but seek God in every step of this child bearing journey.
I want to bottle up their innocence before their little eyes are opened to this world. I want to put a giant bubble around them to keep them from being hurt or exposed to how hard the world can be. I don't want them to face things I had to face. I think that's a pretty typical feeling for a parent. We all want what is best and to guard them the best we can.
But all of that is just stuff that I want.
Not what God calls me to as a parent or what His plan is for my little humans.
How can we capture their innocence and still set them free? I'm not talking about just cutting them loose when they turn 18, I'm talking about a different type of freedom. That freedom that only comes from Christ. I want to spark that fire of freedom in my children so that it will just continue to burn brighter as they grow into little people.
The truth that God has been whispering into my heart lately is that I can't raise little ladies who wholeheartedly love themselves and love their Father when I don't. It's like a knife to the heart. I want to be all of those things, but most days I'm just not. I fail myself, my husband and my kids. I put too much pressure on myself and the way I am a parent and a wife.
I want to look into those beautiful eyes, through the wispy blonde hair and see freedom in their eyes. True freedom that comes from Christ alone. With the faith of a child who wholeheartedly knows who they are. To raise girls who love their bodies because that's how God made them (ouch, that one hits hard huh?). To raise girls who respect themselves enough to save themselves emotionally and physically for the man God made for them. To raise girls who are pure and holy daughters of the Most High.
The difficult part? We believe the lies that the world tells us. That motherhood is a trap and we are bound to some set of obligations. But the truth is this: there is freedom in Motherhood. In knowing that we ultimately have no control at all. You would think for a control freak that might be a scary thought, but it brings so much peace to my heart and I hope it does to yours too.
These children are not mine. They are His.
They are first daughters of the King and I just have the honor of guiding them toward Him.
Father, guide my steps. Pause my controlling heart and spark a freedom fire in us.