Last week I realized I was being a total debbie downer. After a few "are you doing ok" text messages and "I'm worried about you" conversations, I realized I was letting the dark side sink in. It had been a HARD few months. Literally on new years eve, a horrible round of sickness crept up on us. For nearly 3 months someone has been sick. We've had stomach flus, RSV, sinus infections and more. You name it, we've probably had it in the past 3 months. With the endless winter and endless sickness, I let it get to me. I had just weaned off of all of my anxiety/depression medication after battling postpartum anxiety & depression and I thought I was well on my way to being "normal" again. Whatever normal means?
It's so easy to get stuck in a rut in those seasons. I find myself climbing in bed at night and just wanting to cry because I have to "do it all over again tomorrow". I can't tell you how many times that thought crosses my mind. In this season of raising multiple little ones, it's all very redundant. It can become mundane. It's easy to let 1pm become the highlight of my day when I get to crash on the couch for an hour (if I'm lucky and everyone naps!).
I'm making the choice to look up. To place my hope in Christ on those days that get overwhelming and too much. To place our health in His hands and pray that spring comes soon. A literal and theoretical one. I need refreshment, newness and good old sunshine.
We got a glimpse of Spring yesterday and got to dip our toes in the water, and let our skin feel the sting of the sunshine. It was a beautiful and perfect reminder of His promises and that a new season is coming.
So, tell me. How are YOU? How is your heart in the season of winter? Are you allowing yourself to sink in that pit of "I can't do it again tomorrow" or are you waking up refreshed and overjoyed that you get to experience a new day?
Spring is coming friends.