on my heart: needing life

I have all these blog posts scheduled out and I'm not getting to any of them. I'm neglecting my plans because my emotions are holding me back. That is so true in my life right now too. I'm neglecting my LIFE because my emotions are holding me back. The last week and a half has been tough. I started feeling REALLY depressed. The PPA was wearing on me, and I was frustrated. I didn't leave the house for like 5 days, it's just too hard most of the time. It's too annoying to put on presentable clothes and actually go face the world. It's easier to stay in my husbands sweats and dig into my stash of chocolate.

Depressed.

That just made me angry. Oh great, I have postpartum anxiety, am I getting postpartum depression too? A girl can only handle so much.

I wasn't letting LIFE in. I forced myself out to have coffee with a friend and a playdate. It was good for me. It was life-giving. Life is the best medicine. Life-giving relationships. A husband who pours into me every day. Friends that let me cry on their shoulders. Life.

Life that reminds you how precious a baby is. How amazing it is making your child giggle uncontrollably. Life that gets you out of bed excited to face each day and each new adventure with your tiny blessings. Life.

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I will not believe the lies that Satan tries to tell me about myself. I will not let the hormones get the best of me. I will NOT miss out on these beautiful days with my babies because I can't pull myself out of bed.

It's hard. Every day is a new struggle, but every day is also new. A chance to have a second chance.

My heart may be weary and tired, my body may cry out that it's done. But I will press on, because I have been called to more.

Bring it on life, let's do this.