I ache. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually.
Somehow through it all, I have joy. I have hope. I know that God is doing good with what Satan meant for harm. He's crafting my weakness for His glory. He's teaching me that I can't be the perfect mom. It's unattainable. But I am the perfect mom for my babies.
I'm learning that I grasped too tightly to myself as a mom. I held myself as up an idol and thought I was the example that others should follow. I bragged on how easy motherhood came to me, and how I was such a laid back mom. So that was ripped from me. I am overwhelmed with anxiety to the point of uncontrollable panic.
I am currently
crying my way through reading Desperate. It's rocking my world, and I've been reading this quote over and over...and over again. Clinging to it, and the truth that Jesus is on my side.
I am not my bad days. I will not let the dark tell me who I am. I will give only God the authority to tell me who I am. I will choose to be a participant in my own life; I will not let this life or my dark days control me. -Sarah Mae, Desperate
So, to the mom that is hurting? You are not alone, friend. My heart is in tune with yours. I understand your struggles and fears of facing motherhood each day. It's difficult to peel myself out of my warm bed every morning at fear I will fail at it all over again. But let's not let the bad days control us, ok?
Thank you Jesus for grace. You are everything you promised. Your faithfulness is true.