and then your heart explodes...again.

I remember in the days, weeks and months before Zoey was born that I had one fear. A fear that I wouldn't connect with my 2nd daughter. That my heart wasn't big enough, that I wouldn't know how to love her like I did my first born. I worried that my first would always hold the key to my heart, and I wouldn't be able to duplicate that key to pass along to her sibblings. Man, oh man was I ever wrong. 

This time as I sit here anxiously awaiting sister #3, I'm anxious not for if I have enough love to go around. Because this time I know the truth. And I know what happens. My heart explodes all over again.

There's something about those moments when you are holding your child for the first time. When you look down into their tiny face. When you kiss that little wrinkly forehead and count those fingers and toes over and over again. You made it. Through what seemed like a bazillion months of torture, pain and excitement. You made it and God has poured on his blessings on you in the form of a miniature human being.

Heart explosion #1 (March 2010): 

jessi birth

Heart explosion #2 (September 2011):

zo birth

The fun part about growing a family is that each time is different. I'm excited to see what round three holds for us, and holds for my heart. I know it will explode like always. I already feel an incredible connection with this baby that I haven't experienced before. Most likely because I know what is ahead. I know the journey that lies in front of us. Of joy, love and oh-so-much fun.

I'm so excited for that explosion of the heart. So ready to meet this tiny person and tell her face to face how much she means to me and our family. To thank her for going easy on mama in the first trimester (she already gets bonus points for that). To celebrate life with her. 

I'm ready.