I'm struggling to find the words. I sit to write, and nothing comes out. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed. My parents kept the girls this weekend for us so we had some time to rest. That was glorious. If only I hadn't had to get up to pee every hour, it would have been REALLY amazing. I've needed rest, but it's hard to get. I just don't know how to form the words. What the end of this pregnancy means to me.
How do I write on what the end means, when I don't really know?
We don't know what is ahead for us. We know we plan to adopt our next child, but we don't know after that. Will we be done? Hubby is convinced I'll want to have another of our own, but who knows. So my heart aches and is full. I'm anxious for what is ahead over this next year with three so little.
I'm anxious for what it will teach me, how I will be stretched.
I have my giant "to do" list of things to accomplish before the baby comes. I'm in my usual mode of nesting/conquering all of the things. But am I being fully intentional with my time? This past month, I have stepped back so much from blogging and social media. I want to pour into my girls as much as possible, but barely have the time to breathe.
What will this new season ahead look like for me? I have lots of goals and plans for blogging, but my family comes first. Will I have time for all I want to do? Is it just hormones making my brain race a million miles a minute?? #quitepossibly
In exactly 16 days we will meet our third beautiful little girl. On that day, I know that all the questions and worries will disappear.
All that will matter are my three little blonde beauties and their daddy. (unless we get a shocker of a lifetime, and BabyM looks like daddy...yeah right!)