There's those weeks. The exhausting, tiring, overwhelming ones. I get discouraged. Is this really my life? Am I doing ANYTHING that is worth of ANYTHING? I'm covered in drool from my teething one year old and I've lost my temper way too many times with my cranky two year old. Every inch of me aches. I can't get down in the floor to play because my hip aches so bad I can't stand it.
I try to be positive. I try to be excited and full of sunshine and roses. I'm SO incredibly thankful for this baby I'm carrying and that I get to carry this child. I get that. I know how much of a blessing it is, and I know there are tons of women who would give anything for it. But that doesn't change how difficult it can be. And somedays I just need to cry and eat ice cream and whine about my stretch marks and swollen fingers.
It's hard. Really hard.
I get excited to have an OB appointment because it means I get to be "by myself" for a couple of hours and that's basically my "me time". How ridiculous is that??
Sometimes I wonder if I can handle it. Can I really do this?
And then I'm reminded, I CAN. I can handle it. I am worthy. And you better believe this is my life. My amazing, love filled life. I'll take the hard weeks to get the giggles, the kisses and the squeals of joy from my girls.
Every day ends with a heaping spoonful of grace. And usually an even bigger heaping spoonful of ice cream, because duh.
I have a husband who gets me and understands that this is a tough time. I have precious kids that love me when I mess up. I'm blessed. So very blessed. Even if the day ends with exhaustion and tears, it was worth it. And I'll do it all over again tomorrow.
Choosing joy every single day.