My heart has been in a weird place lately. I've had a hard time opening up and sharing it, so I've been quiet. I go through seasons where I take a step back and learn from others and soak it all in. I struggle to find my voice and feel like I have something to say. Why? It basically comes down to this:
1. I'm human.
2. I take things very personally.
3. I have a really soft, sensitive heart.
4. I'm insecure.
I struggle with not feeling adequate. That someone else can say it better, so I let them. But that's just bologna. Mostly because the thought of bologna makes me want to puke right now, so really it's fitting.
GOD HAS WRITTEN OUT MY STORY. I have passions He has placed in me. I have joys and sorrows, I have a story. I watch other women rocking the world and making such an impact for His kingdom and I feel like all I do is change dirty diapers and clean up toys all day long.
I'm in "survival mode" as I like to call it. With a 28 month old, an 11 month old and pregnant...there's really no other way to put it. I pour my heart, soul and what tiny bit of energy I have into these little humans every day. They are my mission field, they are my calling. How dare I feel like I'm not making an impact on the Kingdom?!?!?!
This is why I'm attending The Influence Conference in a few months. Because we are all just one big group of people with a heart for Him, and a mountain of faults and insecurities. Don't think for a second that you are not good enough. If I believed that lie, I wouldn't have a plane ticket and a few amazing roommates that I've never even met in real life. Talk about your comfort zone.
What is your story? Are you allowing yourself to be held back by your own insecurities?