I vividly remember sitting in our bathroom a few days after coming home from the hospital with Zoey and begging Brook to never, ever EVER let me get pregnant again. I was miserable. I had just suffered through a really tough 9 months. The only positive was the perfect baby girl I was holding in my arms. A few months went by. I was still sure I was done. We applied for our adoption. And were denied. My hubby had just started a brand new job, brand new career. I was devastated about not moving forward with our adoption. One evening, we were sitting in the kitchen and Brook told me he wasn't ready to be done having our own. We have two beautiful baby girls. How can we just stop blessing the world with these awesome kids?
In March I sat down with three women who I respect and trust. I told them my fears and concerns with having another baby. You see, I was VERY sick with both pregnancies. With my 1st - I threw up until I was 32 weeks. I was working full time, most weeks 50-60 hours a week. It was exhausting. And then I carried her until 42 weeks. With my second? I start puking 2 days after conception. And I couldn't keep anything down for almost 16 weeks. Awful. Again. I will never forget the night they prayed over me. I left that room with complete belief I can be healed from my sickness. I had a peace. A peace I had never felt in my pregnancies.
I went home and told hubby I was ready.
I felt God was telling me He had a big plan for this baby. And His plan is better than mine.
He will take care of me and carry me through.
I am clinging to that promise every single day. And praising Him for this little blessing. My attitude toward this pregnancy is completely different than it has been with my first two.
I'm filled with joy. Filled with peace.
I look at this about 20 billion times a day. Is this for real, yo?
Wow. So real.