exhaustion, defeat and sacrificing oreos

Jessi cut her top 2 year molars. And it was a nightmare.

Then hubby got the flu.

Then I starting feeling sick.

Can you say pregnancy scare of the century??? (I was puking, exhausted, showing lots of signs. Thankfully it ended up being stress and a stomach bug of some sort. Mama is NOT quite ready for number 3.)

Then Jessi ran a fever for 3 days.

Now Zoey is coughing like crazy.


These last couple of weeks have been some of the hardest in a while. When it rains it pours, eh?

You know those days where you just feel defeated? I've felt that way for about two weeks. Completely defeated. The house looks like toys r us exploded and forgot to do the dishes. Zoey isn't sleeping well, and the sleep deprivation is wearing me thin. I'm impatient and exhausted. My emotions are all over the place.

Yesterday was our anniversary. Our leap day anniversary. We've been so excited and looking forward to it! When we got married, we said we would do something BIG every four years to celebrate. We had been thinking we would leave the kids for a few days and go on a cruise or just get out of town. Well, that didn't happen. We ate lunch at Rib Crib (using a gift card) and went home.

Honestly, it was really hard on me. Since hubby started a new job and we've had to make some major cutbacks, that means cutting back on everything. No anniversary cruise, night away or even dinner out. No gifts or fun new gadgets. I made a homemade card and Brook did the same (except he cheated and bought me a bag of much needed chocolate--bonus points for hubs!).

I can't make it to Blissdom, Blogher or Allume or any of the conferences I would love to attend this year. We are missing one of my childhood best friends wedding. It's just hard to learn to live on very little. Sacrifices we haven't have to learn to make until now. Don't even talk to me about that pretty new camera I've had my eye on for a while.

I'm learning to put down the oreos at Target that sound SO yummy. Learning to live on what we NEED and not on what we WANT. But sometimes I just WANT a big sweet tea or a yummy drink from starbucks. Last night in the car on the way to the doctor Jessi said "Mommy, you want get hot tea?"  Yes, honey. Mommy really wants to go get "hot tea" (aka: Chai Tea Latte) from the 'bucks.

Thanking God today for healthy kids (and that coughs and runny noses are as bad as it's gotten) an amazing husband, and for having all our needs provided. We are richly blessed, even when I'm incredibly stubborn and selfish.

"Oh, the utter extravagance of His work in those who trust Him - ENDLESS ENERGY AND BOUNDLESS STRENGTH" Eph. 1:19