breastfeeding sucks

I hate breastfeeding. There I said it out loud. Now hear me out before you leave and never come back or jump to the comment form to tell me I'm a horrible mother. My first breastfeeding experience was a nightmare. That's really the best way to describe it. So I was nothing short of terrified this time around. Understandably so after all I went through.

However, I'm thrilled to say that Zoey is 4 weeks old today and it's going fantastic. She didn't destroy me right out the gates, and I've only dealt with a little normal soreness. I had no idea this was even possible!!! Oh, other than darn mastitis the first week. Blah.

But, lets be honest here. I spend approximately 8 hours a day with this baby attached to me. It's exhausting. (And I still have an 18 month old!) She is incredibly slow, so it's rare for it to take her less than an hour to eat. And she typically eats every two hours during the day. For those of you who can't do math...that's an hour off between feedings. See, it sucks.

Somewhere around week two it got the best of me. Between that and hormones and the sickness stuff I was dealing with I broke down. Exhausted. It's those weak moments where all you can do is cry and question if you can do this.

But you know what? I can do this. I can! It may be crazy exhausting for now, but it won't be that way forever. She will get faster (she will right?? Please lie to me and tell me she will) The soreness will go away (it will right?? Please lie to me and tell me it will!!). As much as it sucks...ya know around 8 hours a day of sucking...it's worth it.

Shoot, we've already got a month under us! We are rocking and rolling here! We can do this!! Right???