As much as I sometimes don't like to admit it, I have a full fledged toddler. She's big. She does big girl things. But with this new stage of life, comes attitude. LOTS of attitude. The girl is strong willed. She wants what she wants, and she doesn't want anyone to stand in her way. She wants to play in the dog food, and she doesn't want you to tell her no. She wants to open every drawer and cabinet in the house and climb the stairs 50 times a day. She doesn't want to hold your hand to walk through parking lots. Because, come on.
She's big. All 13 months of her.
I had one of those "I'm a terrible mom" breakdowns a few days ago, because now we are entering the discipline stage. She is VERY aware of what "no" means, and repeats it to me about a thousand times a day. When she starts to do something she knows is wrong, she shakes her cute little head and proclaims "NO, NO!". As cute as it is, and kills me to my core...I don't know how to handle it. Because when I break out the big no, no's and she's actually in "trouble", she flings her tiny 22 pound body on the ground and screams bloody murder.
WHY-OH-WHY did we hit the terrible two's this early?!?! Then I feel like a terrible mom for telling my daughter no, and obviously shattering her little world.
I'm terrified of this age. I was good with her as a tiny, cute baby. You know, where she crawled around and couldn't talk and was JUST CUTE? Now she's even cuter and walking and talking and TERRIFYING ME! Sometimes I need a good cry and to look in the mirror and say "you're a good mom, you're a good mom, you're a good mom".
That's what I get for having babies with the most stubborn (but wonderful) man on the planet.
Every stage brings new and wonderful things. And this first time mom is learning. Sometimes it's just a little harder and more difficult than I expected.
Oh, and please don't remind me that the teenage years are coming. Oy.