the aisle of fears

We are a couple who would love to wait another year or so to have babies.  We like this time together! However,  we are also a couple who doesn't use birth control.  I want our children to truly be a gift from God in HIS timing, not something we plan for! Therefore, we are a couple who have little 'scares' every once and a while.   Typically I jump to the worst possible conclusion and convince myself that I'm pregnant.  Sometimes it's just indigestion! (Wow... my apologies to our children who might read this someday, you are not the worst possible conclusion!!) All that to say, we recently had one of these little 'scares'.  I went to the local pharmacy to pick up a preggo test.  As I stood there staring at the wall of tests that all look the same, this young girl walks up next to me with a terrified look on her face.  She glances at me and hides her face in shame.  My heart immediately goes out to her.  "Can I help?", I ask her.  She sighs and asks me which one is better.  Since I'm a professional at peeing on a stick, I give her my expert opinion.  We then chat about how expensive the tests are and how ridiculous that is.  (I think it's just preparing moms for how expensive children will be!)

My heart broke standing there in that aisle at the store with this young girl.  After stealing a quick glance at her naked left hand, it tore me out of my perfect little world I get so wrapped up in.  I somehow made it through those years without ever facing the fear she was facing at that moment.  I walked down a white aisle and was presented to my husband on our wedding day as a pure bride.  For that, I'm so thankful.  But this little girl, is taking a walk down the aisle that is not her idea of her future.  It's the aisle full of fears and pregnancy tests.


How many girls make the mistake of thinking it won't hurt them to just give in to that cute boy?  Do they really think there will be no lingering effect? Part of me wanted to just hug that sweet girl and make it all go away for her, but she walked away still filled with fear. 

There were no thoughts of what color to paint a nursery or how excited her husband was going to be when he found out.  There were fears of if her parents were going to kick her out, and how she would be able to support a baby.

Sometimes I forget how blessed I really am.  Even if we are surprised a little early than we 'plan' for our first little one, we are still in a place we can handle anything life throws at us and there will never be a doubt or fear about it.  (And no, I'm not pregnant...must have been indigestion!!)

I'm pretty sure my husband will lock up our daughters once they realize what boys are, and if they're anything like their mother that will be about the age of 3.