15
Apr
2009
the aisle of fears
By karakaejames. Posted in Girl Stuff, Marriage thoughts | No Comments »We are a couple who would love to wait another year or so to have babies. We like this time together! However, we are also a couple who doesn’t use birth control. I want our children to truly be a gift from God in HIS timing, not something we plan for! Therefore, we are a couple who have little ‘scares’ every once and a while. Typically I jump to the worst possible conclusion and convince myself that I’m pregnant. Sometimes it’s just indigestion! (Wow… my apologies to our children who might read this someday, you are not the worst possible conclusion!!)
All that to say, we recently had one of these little ‘scares’. I went to the local pharmacy to pick up a preggo test. As I stood there staring at the wall of tests that all look the same, this young girl walks up next to me with a terrified look on her face. She glances at me and hides her face in shame. My heart immediately goes out to her. “Can I help?”, I ask her. She sighs and asks me which one is better. Since I’m a professional at peeing on a stick, I give her my expert opinion. We then chat about how expensive the tests are and how ridiculous that is. (I think it’s just preparing moms for how expensive children will be!)
My heart broke standing there in that aisle at the store with this young girl. After stealing a quick glance at her naked left hand, it tore me out of my perfect little world I get so wrapped up in. I somehow made it through those years without ever facing the fear she was facing at that moment. I walked down a white aisle and was presented to my husband on our wedding day as a pure bride. For that, I’m so thankful. But this little girl, is taking a walk down the aisle that is not her idea of her future. It’s the aisle full of fears and pregnancy tests.
How many girls make the mistake of thinking it won’t hurt them to just give in to that cute boy? Do they really think there will be no lingering effect? Part of me wanted to just hug that sweet girl and make it all go away for her, but she walked away still filled with fear.
There were no thoughts of what color to paint a nursery or how excited her husband was going to be when he found out. There were fears of if her parents were going to kick her out, and how she would be able to support a baby.
Sometimes I forget how blessed I really am. Even if we are surprised a little early than we ‘plan’ for our first little one, we are still in a place we can handle anything life throws at us and there will never be a doubt or fear about it. (And no, I’m not pregnant…must have been indigestion!!)
I’m pretty sure my husband will lock up our daughters once they realize what boys are, and if they’re anything like their mother that will be about the age of 3.
April 15th, 2009 at 10:07 am
Sort of off topic, but you can get tests for $1.00 at the dollar stores – I never had periods, so to have four babies, I took HUNDREDS (not kidding) of tests… and the dollar ones work the same as the $17.00 ones!
April 15th, 2009 at 10:18 am
I remember those first few months of marriage (even though I was on birth control) where I would cringe at the mere thought that we were going to have a baby! A baby was the last thing I thought I could handle, I was still trying to figure out how to live with a boy for heaven’s sake!!! Having a baby at that time in our lives would have been nothing compared to the challenges this little girl faces (I’ll start praying for her, whoever she may be). God can do miraculous things with circumstances that are far from perfect, and man am I thankful!
April 15th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Eh, I totally know what you mean. I love just hanging out…with the Hubby…someday I want to adopt. I don’t really do babies…the whole idea of getting up in the middle of the night scares me.
August 25th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Just for future reference- not all married people wear rings.
“A quick glance at her naked left hand” is just slightly ridiculous.
August 25th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
ALL babies come in God’s time – but sometimes that means charting, OPK’s, invasive testing, fertility drugs, alternative reproductive technologies, adoption, nieces or nephews – to suggest otherwise is pretentious and condescending.
Thanks for the stomach punch to me and all my infertile friends.
August 25th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
@ironbunny — this girl couldn’t have been more than 14… so i really doubt she was married.
@beatrice — i apologize if my words were a punch in the stomch to you, but i never meant anything hurtful in my words. of course all babies are in God’s timing, but i don’t think that means teenage girls, or women who are not married for that matter, should be having sex. again, I apologize if you took this post to mean something it was not intended to mean.